Michael Nugent in Baby Eating Shocker!
I'm dying here people. It's like people trust me or something.
So I've been given this rather...explosive... information. It's about a big name in the atheist community. It has long been rumoured that atheists eat babies as part of some weird and gross 'we hate God' satanic ritual, but I've been approached with information that Michael Nugent actually eats babies!
Who has approached me? Well I can't really say anything other than they are a group who identify themselves as the 'Perpetually Offended Orators' (or Poo for short).
I asked POO for their evidence that Michael Nugent eats babies and what they had to say is certainly revealing:
1) POO know that Michael Nugent eats babies because someone POO knows really believes it to be true. When I asked POO wasn't that just someone's opinion POO told me, "well that's just your opinion".
2) POO disagree with something Michael Nugent said, therefore his eating babies must be true.
3) Richard Dawkins tweeted something that POO didn't like, POO were offended, Michael Nugent agreed with Richard Dawkins, therefore they are right and he eats babies.
The shocking accusation that Michael Nugent eats babies comes hot on the heels of another recent smear that Michael Nugent supports trans-misogynist hate speech and follows a litany of other smears, in his own words that he is "using dog whistle homophobia to support misogyny, being actually homophobic, supporting and providing a haven for rapists, allowing feminists to hijack Atheist Ireland, being sexist and misogynistic, supporting feminists who are bullying people, being racist, a Fascist/Nazi/Neo-Nazi/Nazi sympathiser, an admirer of the pre-1990 Soviet Union, an Islamophobe, a creepy xenophobe, a champion of horrible people, a monster, an Irish wanker, a demented fuckwit, actually crazy, and to top it all, an allegation that people like me supported the Pedophile Information Exchange". As if the baby eating was shocking enough!
Who would have thought that Michael Nugent's lifelong activism was nothing more than a cover for his baby eating ways. Yes, all the time he was campaigning for release of the 'Tallaght Two', when he was setting up and campaigning with New Consensus' against sectarian violence in Northern Ireland, when he was campaigning to save the birthplace of James Joyce, when he campaigned to stop the Irish government from appointing a disgraced former judge to the European Investment Bank, when he supports the Adoption Rights Alliance, when he campaigns with Tom Curran on the right to die, when he helped to found and continues to Chair the advocacy group Atheist Ireland, when he campaigns against Ireland's and international blasphemy laws and the violations of human rights caused by them, when he campaigns against religious discrimination in Irish schools, when he campaigns for separation of religion and state along with minority religions, when he campaigns for the Repeal of the 8th Amendment, when he supported Marriage Equality, when he called for the national public service broadcaster to stop giving free advertisement airtime to the Catholic Church in the guise of the Angelus, when he campaigns for the removal of religious oaths,when he speaks out for animal rights, when he speaks at the UN on Ireland's human rights abuses, when he takes part in numerous debates and radio discussions throughout the year, all of this is nothing more than a front for his baby eating activities. It's a plan so ingeniously devised and executed that only a madman could have imagined it.
I approached Michael Nugent for comment on this latest revelation. I expected a grovelling apology with plenty of self-abasement, instead he simply said "if people don't want me to eat their babies then they shouldn't take them out in public" before he flounced away.